Book Of Tears

For those of you who don't know it yet, I'm releasing a book this spring, along with another grand surprise that I'll tell you about later. Writing this book has been an amazing journey of recollection and memories. Some of them wonderful and many of them heartbreaking. So, as I'm doing this I'm asking myself "why?". "Why am I putting myself through this?", or often is "Why does talking about this or remembering details bother me so much, I thought I had dealt with those things already."

The answer is because I think telling my story will help more people than it's hurting me to write. I feel like I have so much inside me that's just aching to be released, aching to get out and do something more productive than causing pain. I feel like this book is something I have to do. But, I also really want to do it. Just some days are harder than others to get through just a few pages.

Today I came across this relatively new artist, Meridith Andrews beautiful song. Her message in the song is also the message of my book. Although God took me through the darkest nights of my life, he was still there. Because if he wasn't I wouldn't have made it through them. That was one of the hardest things to realize, that God "let" them happen to me. But in all fairness, my decisions caused a lot of my pain but despite that God didn't leave my side. HE walked through the pain with me and cried with me every tear, felt every heartache so that I would know the depth of His love for me.